He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
