i can't believe i had my finger in that
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
