I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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