So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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