ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
