Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
