if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
