How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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