At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
