it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
