I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
