conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
