I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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