We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
