the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize