Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
love makes seman taste better
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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