Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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