I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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