So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
