He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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