i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
