i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
