Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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