she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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