i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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