I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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