even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
that is very illegal...i love you.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
