when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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