I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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