i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
