in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
operation have a gay friend backfired
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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