Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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