I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize