My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
