don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
