Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
