office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
