Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize