Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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