glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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