You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
