i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
