Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
They should really pass out barf bags in church
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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