She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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