went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
