I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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