today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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