She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
