Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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