i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
