Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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