no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
