you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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