Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
