He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
