I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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