All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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