areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
