No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I need moral support for this bender
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
