smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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