I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
