i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
