Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
True strength comes from lack of pants
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
